Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Last autumn, a wealthy Malaysian ambassador in England was married to a Siamese widow who had an ugly daughter after his wife’s death. He also had a beautiful and fair daughter who was kind and soft hearted named Snow White. However, he did not know that his new wife always practiced black magic in her daily life. Even though her black magic was powerful, she did not able to change her ugly daughter, Apsara into a beautiful girl. So, she taught some black magic and gave her a magic compact powder.
Every night before Apsara went to sleep , she would ask her magic compact powder, Silky White. “Oh my Silky White, who will marry the richest man in England?". What a surprise, Snow White’s face appeared in the mirror and she was really angry. Then she planned to kill Snow White so that she could marry the richest man in the world.
One day,Apsara forced one of his father’s servant to bring Snow White to the store room at the back of the mansion to kill and throw her body in a well. The servant found himself unable to kill her because he knew Snow white was a very kind-hearted girl. Then, he asked Snow White to run for her life away from the mansion and told her that Apsara wanted to kill her if she knew that Snow White was still alive. Snow White was very shocked and frightened , so she ran away without knowing where she was heading to.
After three hours running for her life, she felt really tired, hungry and lonely .She wanted to call her father but her Blackberry phone had ran out of battery. Fortunately, she found a beautiful small house with a lake nearby. She knocked on the door but nobody opened or answered the door. She tried to open it herself and saw small furniture in the house was arranged neatly. She felt so excited when she saw food on the table as she was starving and ate them. She fell asleep because she was too full and frazzled.
After a few hours, the Seven Dwarves came home. Each of them was stunned when they noticed that there was no food for them on the table. Then the youngest dwarf was shocked when he saw a beautiful woman was sleeping on his bed.”Oh, my God! Who is that pretty lady on my bed?” The dwarf’s voice woke her up. Then, she explained to them about what had happened to her and apologized to the dwarves for eating their food.”Oh, pity you Snow White, it’s okay. You can stay here as long as you cook for us and clean the house.”Said the oldest dwarf. Since the day ,Snow White lived with them happily and did whatever she could to be with the seven dwarves.
One day, Apsara asked again to Silky White “Oh my Silky White, who will marry the richest man in England?” .Then, she saw Snow White and the seven dwarves images appeared in the mirror. She was really shocked and angry when she knew that Snow White was still alive.”If I knew that the servant couldn’t kill her, I would do it myself, stupid servant” .So, to satisfy herself, Apsara planned a new strategy to kill Snow White by herself.
Apsara invented a special poisonous lip balm for Snow White that will cause Snow White to be in coma unless if her future husband kissed her. Then, she disguised herself as an old woman so that no one would recognized her, traveled to the dwarves house and knocked on the door. Snow White put her head out of the window and told her that she could not get strangers into the house without the dwarves permission.
” Young lady, I am very thirsty. Could you get me a glass of water please?” said Apsara with her old woman tone. Snow White asked her to wait outside so that she could get a glass of water to that old woman.”Here you go. Is there anything I can do for you? “ Snow White asked. “No, thank you. A glass of water is enough. Here is a little gift for you, young lady. My granddaughter who lives in the city gave me this the last time she visited me. I think you need it more than I do”. Said Apsara. “oh, a lip balm?” replied Snow White. “ yes, blueberry flavored. Why don’t you try it because I see your lips are dry.” said Apsara. Snow White used the lip balm on her lips and responded “ Hmm.. so sweet..Thanks, old lady . I really appre….” She fainted.
Apsara was very happy and left the house with the happiest face ever. She never felt this happy before because she thought Snow white was already dead. When the dwarves got back from work, they found Snow White was lying on the floor and tried to wake her up but it did not work. They knew that Snow White was dead and were very sad. They decided to bury her but she looked as fresh as a living person. So, they were unable to bury her in the ground.
Lastly, they agreed to lay Snow White inside a transparent glass coffin so that they could see her from all sides. Then, they put the coffin at the rose garden near the the lake. The dwarves would take turn to watch over Snow White’s coffin to make sure that nobody would touch the coffin.
One day, Henry the richest man in England was wandering around the lake to take pictures of the nature as photography is one of his interest. He took pictures of the roses and plucked them .Then he saw the dwarves was surrounding the coffin. Then he asked” who’s the lady in the coffin, why is she not buried in the ground?” . The oldest dwarf answered "She is Snow white, the daughter of the Malaysian ambassador in England. She is dead and we don’t know how it happened.”
Then, Henry asked their permission to take picture of Snow White and kissed her as his last respect and honor to her. The dwarves let him did what he desired and when he kissed her, suddenly snow White opened her eyes slowly. “Where am I?” she asked. They were all very shocked and happy at the same time. Then one of the dwarves whispered to Snow White that she woke up from her coma when Henry kissed her. She looked into Henry’s eyes and thanked him. Henry had fallen in love with Snow White since he kissed her and he got a feeling that Snow White was going to be his wife.
Henry proposed Snow White and brought her back to the mansion to ask for her father’s hand. Snow White’s father was very grateful that her daughter was back to her because he she was missing. He agreed to make Henry as his son in law. Meanwhile, Apsara could not accept the fact that all her efforts were worthless and Snow White was going to marry the man of her dream. She became very sick and the doctor that treated her told her father that she had a mental disorder problem. Snow White lives happily ever after with her husband and the seven dwarves.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them?
A: Look in the library-------under Romantic Fiction.
Q: How can a guy cope during his wife's menopause?
A: By staying busy. If you're mechanically inclined, you can remodel the garage. When you are finished you will have a flat in which to live.
Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?
A: She should tell him she's with child.
Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?
A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles.
Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?
A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is.
Q: Do older people have problems storing their short term memories?
A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage.
Q: Do older people have deeper sleep?
A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoon
Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?
A: On top of their heads.
Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by older people when they visit antique shops?
A: 'Gee, I have one of these.'